Why Lucy Would Keep the Baby...

My name is Lucy Lurie and I am the daughter of the former professor David Lurie. After David had been charged with sexual harassment of a student of his, he decided to come visit me for two weeks. He ended up staying longer than he intended because of the theft that happened to my house. Two men and a boy had come to my house, and they did not just steal everything valuable from my house, but raped me as well. I feel that I deserve this act of rape because of history and because I am trying to be independent here in the country. When I then found out later that I was pregnant, I knew I had two options: I could abort this child, or keep it. I know David would tell me that I should not even consider the idea of having this child. That would be a true response that a father would tell his daughter. In the end, I know that this is my life, not his. This second chance of having a child at this time of my life made me think about actually keeping this child. The possibilities of what this child could do for me began to add up. I did not want to lose another opportunity to have a child by aborting this one. I am in fact a lesbian, and so therefore I cannot have children one day with the one I choose as a partner. I also am at an age where I could support a child and I also like and want children. Also, having this child could liberate me from the fears that I have now within my head. I know that Petrus knew of some idea of what was going to happen to me that day. I figured this out when I found out that the young boy was the brother to Petrus’ wife. I do not believe Petrus was responsible for the rape and theft, but I have a feeling that he could not do anything to stop it because he wanted to show loyalty to his new family. Since he allowed the events to occur, I believe he is trying to make amends for his family, or at least make it seem like that he is making amends for them. If I have this child, I know that Petrus will feel accountable for the child that I have, and so will protect me as he does his family. This child will then allow me protection from the two men and the boy that Petrus is related to, and from any other attack from another black man. I could not tell David this because he would not understand. He does not need to know the tale that occurred with me, for he has already gone through so much as it is. This is my life, not his. I am keeping the child and I hope not to regret this decision.

Analyzation

Lucy shows that she could say this story above because of what she says to David and how she reacts in certain instances in the book. She emphasizes the point of history and her independence resulting in her rape when she states, “In another time, in another place it might be held to be a public matter” (112). She realizes that they are in a time after the apartheid. Lucy saying this implies that she knows that the only reason the black Africans most likely attacked her was because she is a white African. Also, this emphasized how she knew that because of the apartheid ending, there would not be as much punishment towards the idea of these men raping her. Lucy shows that she could have thought about each issue presented for keeping the baby by first stating to David that she did not want to go through another abortion again. She has already gone through this process once and now is analyzing this situation with experience, versus easily saying that she wants to abort the baby. She would then say that she knew that Petrus knew beforehand that she would be robbed because of how Petrus reacted to the boy being there at the party. By Petrus not telling the boy to leave and supporting the idea that the boy was too young to go to jail, Lucy knew that this boy would be sticking around for a while, which she implies when she tells David not to call the police. She has a feeling that this boy will be there for a while because he is appearing at this party without any need of hiding. This shows that he knows he is in a scene that will protect him from being arrested. Therefore, he is displaying that he will not be thrown in jail and ultimately is not afraid of getting caught for what he did. So Lucy knows he will not be leaving anytime soon, and she respected Petrus enough to figure out the situation after the party. Also by her stopping David from calling the police, she shows that she has accepted that this rape was only a price she had to pay. She has accepted the idea that she was raped, and feels no urgency for a sense of justice that the police can do for her. The police will not get rid of the feeling that these men gave her when they raped her, so she feels that they will not benefit her in any way. She only fears her attackers, and she shows that when she instantly stops dancing when she sees the boy. Lucy accepts things as they come and when she makes a decision, she sticks to it. This is also why she would state at the end that she would not hear what David says, but will stick with her decision through and through. Her willingness to stay by herself at her place even after this rape reflects this as well. She has decided that she wants to continue being independent, for she knows she is able to take care of herself and knows that she can make her life however she wants it. Therefore, she figures that if her life now accounts for taking care of a baby, she will find a way to take care of the child as well. She has had the determination to find a way to take care of herself, and by deciding that she will have this child, she has decided that she believes she can take care of the child as well.